i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
