i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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