i don't like sucking hair
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
