i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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