i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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