hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
