guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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