My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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