we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
