I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
