Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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