blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
