i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
