Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
