Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
