You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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