D3 body, D1 cock
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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