just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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