I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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