I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
