real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
