I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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