forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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