Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
i've created a new STD.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
