Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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