I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
