she was so not down for the gang bang
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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