Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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