Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
