This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
