Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
