You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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