Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
