someone threw a dead crab at me
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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