spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
