i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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