they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize