dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
