gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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