I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
