Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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