kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
