I think im going to throw up on grandma
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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