So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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