after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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