i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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