Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
this boner is exhausting
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
