I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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