Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
