The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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