he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
